March is a time of Madness

Apparently this is the time of the year when I get it in my head to do ridiculous things. Go ahead, take a look at any post I’ve ever made in late March. And yes, I know I haven’t posted here in a very long time, but still. It holds up on Facebook and Twitter, too. Trust me.

So, the other day, in a zombie-like state, at the end of a long day, nearing the end of a long month, in which the pressure is on at work, and the OG Sonar Monkey is getting ready to graduate from high school, as I scrolled mindlessly through Twitter, I came across another silly March bracket: the Internet Boyfriend Bracket from OffSet. I may have spent the evening googling those competitors I do not know, talking about the advantages and disadvantages of the different pairings, as well as ranting aboutnoting various omissions. I may have posted about it on Facebook.

Then last night, the eponymous madness overtook me, and I started to rebuild the bracket. Bigger. Better. More ridiculous. Correcting omissions, sorting into topical quarters, then reseeding (Randomly. Mostly.).

Methodology

I started with OffSet’s collection of charming competitors (there were 28), then took suggestions from friends, family, and my own brain. I did some research, combing through my Netflix queue, my social media circles, my crush history, my daily activities, looking for individuals who might make an interesting internet boyfriend. Then padded out the original list until I had a fully mad set of 64 individuals.

I created a tag for each competitor to note their most famous or laudable accomplishment. Some of these tags are more specific than others: a particular role or action. Others are more general: a job, field of study, or place of employment. Don’t read too much into the tags. Mostly I just thought some of them were funny. 

Some broad groupings started to suggest themselves. The list is dominated by actors, but there were also musicians, writers, journalists, comedians, chefs, and a couple of ax-throwers. I didn’t think too deeply about this, but sorted them into four very loose categories.

Actors and Comedians

Actors and Ax-Throwers

Actors and Musicians

Politics, Science, and Public Radio

It occurs to me now that there are some perfectly amazing actor-musicians that aren’t in the Actors and Musicians category. There’s also not a single athlete. *shrug*

Concerns

I’m aware that the internet “boyfriend” concept is ultimately limiting in it’s single-gender focus. I have plenty of internet crushes who are either “girlfriends” or nonbinary. The idea of an “Internet Girlfriend” bracket sounds more unsavory, which raises questions about allowable and disallowable justifications in the gendered gaze. A topic for a more philosophical conversation and consideration perhaps. An omission to be remediated in a future March frenzy.

I’m also quite aware that there are a few people on the list that if I looked under their kitchen rugs, would reveal intolerable actions and attitudes. Disqualify them as you will based on your preferences and predilections. Or make a new, personalized bracket of your own. It was fun!

Anyway, Just Go Vote Now

Knitting a large-scale sculpture?

Something is hatching here (click to embiggen): 

Photo of a page of my journal, black ink on white paper with blue gridlines. Brainstorming a list of features for a very large, weird, knitting project occupying my brain.

Enough

Move the pen on the paper. Move the pen on the paper. Move the pen on the paper. 

A Zendoodle from my journal with repeating circle patterns covering the words of a poem, but leaving repetitions of the word “enough” exposed, plus a red tree.

A Unified Hammer Dialogue

Partner and I celebrate the nineteenth anniversary of our first date this week (I tell that sordid tale here, and quantify it here, but note that we are up to 19 years, 6 cars, and 5 high schools now). And by celebrate, I mean we talk about it and smile and remember how stupid we were, and how glad we are that our stupidity turned into something really awesome. No gifts, no special meal. Just retelling old personal jokes and the State of the Union Address. One joke in particular is strikingly appropriate to a remembrance of Pete Seeger, who died yesterday. This joke is a dialogue, initiated randomly, usually when working on a household repair or home improvement project. 

A (calmly, with distraction): I wish I had a hammer.

B (equally distracted, but polite): What would you do with a hammer?

A (with a shrug): I’d hammer in the morning. 

B (attention still diverted): Would you hammer any other time?

A (nonchalant): Oh sure, I’d hammer in the evening. 

B (mildly interested): Where would you hammer?

A (dismissive): Oh, all over. 

B (concerned): What would you hammer?

A (with sudden increase in volume and exuberant gestures — jumping onto the table with arms flung wide is not out of the question here): I’d hammer out LOVE between my sisters and my brothers aaaaa-AAAAAAA-ALLLL over this LAAAAAAND. 

[end scene]

I never said we weren’t ridiculous. Now, where did I put that hammer? 

Move the Pen on the Paper

That’s my motto right now. Move the pen on the paper. Following that command, I’m getting some words on  paper. I’m also getting things like this lizard. Hello, lizard. (Click to embiggen Ye Olde Lizarde)

Zentangle-style, layered doodles built around a central lizard shape