Random Monday in NaNoLand

1. Yes, on November 20, I crossed the 50k mark on my NaNoWriMo novel for this year. And I changed the name to an equally horrible, but personally amusing Love (or a Time Machine) Conquers All: A Novel that is not about Love (or Time Machines). I didn’t validate until the 27th because I was busy eating pie.

2. We have decided to make it a family tradition to get stuck in traffic somewhere in Texas during the Thanksgiving holiday. Last year we crawled from Austin to Waco to Dallas at about fifteen miles per hour. This year, we crawled at twenty miles per hour on a forty mile detour through Tivoli, Texas. The orange sign at the side of the road said “Incident Ahead.” We have since learned that there was some sort of “traffic accident,” but during the “Incident” we suspected zombie apocalypse. We were happy to have our suspicions quashed.

3. I did a lot of knitting over the holiday weekend. I finished a pair of socks that have been lingering for nearly a year. I finished a hat that has been lingering for a few months. I made a pair of newborn socks. I finished one kid sock and started another. I loved to have the yarn running through my hands again. I’ll post pictures—um, sometime. Soon. Yeah.  

4. I have been reading four different books during the month of November.  I am ashamed to say that I have not finished a single one of them.  I’m running out of time to finish any before the month is over.

5. I am. Phew. Out of things to say for today. But I will clean the used tissues off the desk, and maybe I will find some words under there.  December promises knitting, sewing, baking, and more traveling. 

25 Days of Gratitude, My Epic List of Thanks

Every day in November, over on Facebook, I posted something for which I feel grateful. Here’s the list.

Have a really fabulous Thanksgiving everyone!

November 1: I’m thankful for music. It moves our bodies and our minds, inspires, calms, excites, connects, and funkifies.

November 2: I’m thankful for Buttered Toast. What? They don’t all have to be profound.

November 3: I’m thankful for Books to read and Authors who drag my brain and heart to new places.

November 4: I’m thankful for Generous, Loving, Compassionate People who see a need in their community and pull together to fill it just because it will help someone.

November 5: I am thankful for all of YOU, the community of family and friends, old and new, that make up the fabric of my life and my experiences.

Bonus November 5: I am thankful for teachers who inspire kids to FLY!

November 6: I am thankful for Time. Time to write crappy novels, time to make them better, time to make things with my hands, time to run, time to be where I am needed by people I love.

Bonus November 6: I am thankful for toes in the sand and lovely friends with beautiful beaches.

November 7: I am thankful for knitting. The action of my hands soothes my manic brain and allows me to wrap the people I love in the warmth of a hug that can hold them even when I’m not there.

November 8: I am thankful for running and what it does for the body and brain, especially how it produces a really sharp pair of tibialis anterior muscles. (I’ve always been a sucker for those tibialis anteriors).

November 9: I am thankful for caffeine. Without it, I could still do all of the things I do, but I would surely be less enthusiastic about it.

November 10: I am thankful for the kitchen timer on my desk. It pushes me through my day, reminding me that I can do anything for fifteen minutes.

Bonus November 10: I am thankful for Hands. Hands to feel, to hold, to touch, to type, to push, to probe, to pull, to grab, to wave, to catch, to press, to test, to wiggle, to point, to emphasize, to speak, to write, to pinch, to direct, to shake, to tickle, to poke, to caress, to let go. Those suckers are really—um, useful.

November 11: I am thankful for my Veterans. To all the veterans and their families that I don’t know, thank you for the commitment and sacrifices you made to serve. The payback does not always justify what you gave or continue to give, but for this day, I hope we can do right by you, and remind society and government to do right by you always.

November 12: I am thankful for Partner because—among many other very cool things—he makes me oatmeal-raisin cookies for no reason.

November 13: I am thankful for Sonar X10, Sonar X7, and Sonar X5. Their jokes, their compassion, their creativity, their silliness, their struggles, their independence, their fierceness, their capacity to soak up ideas and push at the world around them. They make me growl sometimes but watching them grow is the most awesome thing I’ve ever done.

November 14: I am thankful for chocolate. Preferably dark and bitter, but also creamy and sweet with a swirl of caramel. Melted into hot chocolate with a crumple of dried chile and a splash of whiskey. Drizzled over ice cream. Chipped into a spoonful of peanut butter. The last melted bit sticking to my fingertip.

November 15: I am thankful for all of the people who have sheltered and lifted me when I have been broken, who have guided and forgiven me when I have been wrong and stupid, who have loved and laughed at and with me when I have been worthy. You rock.

November 16: I am thankful for beer. This one doesn’t need elaboration, does it?

November 17: I am thankful for the good job that provides us safe shelter, a full fridge, everything that we need, and many things that we want (including chocolate, beer, internet access, and buttered toast).

November 18: I am thankful for social media. I came to FaceBook kicking and screaming, and I used to think Twitter was stupid. But social media has allowed me to build a diverse community of writers and strivers and friends, and has allowed me to connect and reconnect with amazing people (That’s YOU!) across miles and time.

November 19: I’m thankful for electricity. I’m stealing this one from Sonar X10, actually (and another friend mentioned it too!). His science homework the other night asked him to list twenty things in the house that use electricity. My favorite electric things include the fridge, the Mac, the air conditioner, the washing machine, the radio, the stove, and lamps. But there are so many others. What’s your favorite?

November 20: I am thankful for bread, especially hot & fresh in my kitchen. Knead the dough, watch it rise, shape it, and wait. Sandwich bread, baguettes, buttered rolls, cinnamon buns, tortillas, naan, breadsticks, foccaccia, soft pretzels, bagels, pizza balls, whole wheat, rye, sweet, savory, sliced, stuffed, dipped, rolled, & TOASTED. Bread demands patience, but nothing feeds the stomach or the heart better than fresh bread.

November 21: I am thankful for Crys M., who convinced me to do NaNoWriMo in 2005. I am thankful for Cassie T., who introduced me to Crys. I am thankful for the English Dept at Penn State, which introduced me to Cass. I am thankful for Dan P., who told me to go to grad school somewhere else. I am thankful for the English Dept at NMSU, which introduced me to Dan P. I am thankful for all of the people in that chain of learning who taught me things and let me teach them.

November 22: I am thankful for the health and well-being of everyone I love (that includes YOU again). Let’s all take good care of ourselves and each other!

November 23: I am thankful for Popcorn. With finely crushed salt. In Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving, they eat popcorn with… Anyone remember?

November 24: I am thankful for laughter, good humor, and fun. Laughter can be a light in the darkness, a spark between lovers, the glue between friends.  Thank you for laughing at me. Thank you for laughing with me. Thank you for making me laugh. I love, love, love YOU.

November 25: I am thankful for so many more things. Clean water, awesome crossing guards, warm blankets, fresh grapefruit juice, pumpkin pie, comfortable shoes, blooming flowers, love, compassion, honesty, wide open spaces, reliable highways, soft kleenex, hugs… I could go on and on. I am so grateful for the richness of my life. Thank you for putting up with my list this month!

Of Junk Food and Profile Pictures

Talking to the kids about junk food the other day made me wonder what they would do if I let them buy any food they wanted from the store. We eat pretty healthy around here. Lots of fresh fruit, very little processed food and refined sugars. Sure, they have a candy jar, but they eat one piece of candy out of it a couple of times a week. I put a chocolate kiss in their lunches. One dark chocolate kiss. 

But then I told them about my eating habits in high school. There was mention of a candy bar every morning during homeroom. At least one and more frequently two Dr Peppers a day. Partner chimed in with stories of bags of potato chips and french onion dip consumed in a single afternoon. Plus lots of soda and ice cream. There was a story about whole chickens in there too, but that’s not junk food. Anyway, they were amazed that we would eat this way. 

So I started asking them, if I got out of the way and they wanted junk food, what would they buy? Chips? Soda? Candy? Ice cream? Maybe I should have stopped there. 

Today I may have taken leave of my senses. This was a short, chaotic week of school. Today was a fun, busy, unpredictable, tiring day. On the way home this evening, at ten to five, I took them into the grocery store and gave them each five bucks and told them to buy whatever junk food they wanted. Here’s what they got…

Sonar X5: Chocolate Rice Quakes ($1), Lock Jaw 7-piece Sour-Sweet Candy Pack ($1), Beef jerky ($1), Tiny Mango Sorbet ($1), Tiny Cookie Dough Ice Cream ($1). 

Sonar X7: French Onion Dip ($0.79), Potato chips ($1), Warheads Sour Spray ($1), Pint of Rocky Road Ice Cream ($1.72).

Sonar X10: Can of salt and vinegar Pringles ($1.50), Lock Jaw 7-piece Sour-Sweet Candy Pack ($1), Blue Raspberry Pop Rocks ($0.50), Pint of Butter Crunch Ice Cream ($1.72).

We don’t keep any of these foods in the house. Once every couple of months or so I’ll buy some chips and dip. Likewise with the ice cream. The rest, no way.

After dinner I let them rip into their new stashes. They were surprisingly thoughtful and generous, sharing tastes of their stuff with each other, talking together about this little party. Some they tasted, some they decided to save for holiday traveling. They tortured me with Pop Rocks. While they were doing this, I tried to take a new profile picture in my Mom shirt. It was a tricky shot. Mainly because monkeys kept popping into it. 

Contrived profile shot interrupted by Sonar X10

Contrived profile shot interrupted by Sonar X7

Contrived profile shot interrupted by Sonar X5

Hey look, the uninterrupted contrived profile shot

After they got all sugared up, and really, truly, and thoroughly tired, one meltdown ensued. Maybe they can wait to buy their own junk food in college.  

Watch out for the Paper Boy and Other Friday Randomness

Without further ado, I present your Friday Randomness

1. I frequently get collection phone calls for someone with a similar name. I would not want to be the intended receiver of any of these calls. They are frequently more menacing than the paper boy in Better Off Dead. Which is my favorite line of writing this week. I crack myself up. 

2. Sonar X10 started a conversation like this yesterday: “If there’s a fairy in the van…” I think it was a warning about pixies tying my loose shoelaces to the pedals but I was laughing so hard I might have heard him wrong. 

3. I finished reading Sum: Forty Tales of the Afterlives by David Eagleton. Review to come, eventually. Another book I’d put in my top five for the year.

4. Driving to the grocery store the other day, I turned a corner and came face-to-face with the largest turkey vulture I have ever seen. It was perched on top of a road sign with it’s enormous wings spread wide, catching the buffeting breeze. A superstitious person might have taken it as an omen. I just wished I’d had the camera.

5. The turkey vulture has inspired me to require the main character in my Mud-Vampire story to swallow a rock. It strikes me as funny. I’m not sure how they’re connected either, except that I scribbled both of these things on a piece of paper in the van. Deciding this is the closest I’ve come to actually editing that story for two weeks. 

6. My NaNoWriMo word count is 42,800. I’m one day behind the goals I’d planned for myself at the beginning of the month, but I’m also feeling enthusiastic. How many words do you think I can churn out today?

7. One of my favorite elements from the commercially under-appreciated series Firefly is the word SHINY. I suppose it means something like cool or awesome, but with a certain folksy subtlety. I think you’d be awfully shiny if you left a comment down there. I say that with a pretty please, and my thumbs in my belt loops, rocking forward onto the toes of my boots, and batting my eyelashes.  So stand up and be shiny. Tell me anything you want. Tell me the weirdest thing you ever saw at the grocery store. Tell me your favorite thing to eat at family gatherings. Tell me if you’ve ever seen a turkey vulture THIS BIG.  I’m waiting.

Who Rocks the House: My submission for NPR's Three-Minute Fiction Round Five

For the fifth round of NPR’s Three-Minute Fiction, they asked writers to submit very short stories that begin with the line “Some people swore that the house was haunted” and end with “Nothing was ever the same after that.”

Go browse through the stories that were posted. There are some amazing bits of fiction over there.  Some focus in on a particular moment in rich detail.  At least one manages to be epic in less than six-hundred words. Let me know your favorite.  

Here’s the story I submitted. Questions, comments, remarks, observations, and miscellaneous personal abuse are welcome below.  Okay, no personal abuse, but I have to deliver that line* in its full glory. 

Who Rocks the House by Dani Smith

Some people swore that the house was haunted. The groundskeepers standing in the lush grass heard only the jingle of the wind through the chain-link fence. Some people could feel a cold presence as they approached the gate and read the name of a man on the wall. His aura reached out from the house, tingling spines in the local halls of government. His ideas buzzed in the ears of civic leaders, inspiring some and disgusting others.

Born and raised in that small-but-changing town, he knew everyone important. If you didn’t know him, you must have lacked influence.

Once upon a time he inspired respect with his enthusiasm for tradition and his can’t-give-up attitude. Those who remembered that positive attitude were long gone. The respect eroded to trepidation and the enthusiasm to bitter stubbornness.

The folk that still knew him didn’t know why he was important. His cause was not always their cause.  Sometimes they shared his goals, but eventually they outgrew him. Most only cared while their sons and daughters worked in the house.  While they ran plays, shouted cheers, marched out drills and notes.

When their lives moved on, when their kids grew up, their interest in the house faded.

But not this man. The quintessential football booster. Honorary President for Life of the football booster club.

“Did he play football here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did his kids play?”

“You got me.”

“Why do we care that he doesn’t like this coach or that turf or his seat at the banquet? Does he give a lot of money?”

“He gives what he can, but it’s not much anymore.”

They cared what he thought because that unrepentant football-Marley wailed out his laments. He rattled the down-markers and clanked the trophy case, bemoaning his nostalgia for a lost time when football was bigger. The hits harder. The blood thicker. The taunts louder. The coach meaner.

He longed for the days when the fans shook the house, packing and creaking the bleachers, pouring their souls onto the field in a ritual letting of spirit. He hung onto football in his teeth. He lived and breathed and ate the memory of his days in that house.

He wanted it back. The glory and the fury. The testosterone-rich, drug-fueled, slobber-knocker football glory of legend.

“So the stadium IS haunted? We got a ghost in here?”

“Him?  He ain’t no ghost. He’s just a mean old bastard.”

Keys to the house and the trophy case fell out of his hands when the EMTs lifted his body from his reserved seat in the bleachers. The groundskeepers took off their hats as the gurney passed, then the older one spat on the ground below the stands.

The superintendent gave the man’s keys to the president of the band boosters.

Nothing was ever the same after that.

*That line was frequently used to conclude a discussion by one of my favorite and most influential professors.