Of Junk Food and Profile Pictures

Talking to the kids about junk food the other day made me wonder what they would do if I let them buy any food they wanted from the store. We eat pretty healthy around here. Lots of fresh fruit, very little processed food and refined sugars. Sure, they have a candy jar, but they eat one piece of candy out of it a couple of times a week. I put a chocolate kiss in their lunches. One dark chocolate kiss. 

But then I told them about my eating habits in high school. There was mention of a candy bar every morning during homeroom. At least one and more frequently two Dr Peppers a day. Partner chimed in with stories of bags of potato chips and french onion dip consumed in a single afternoon. Plus lots of soda and ice cream. There was a story about whole chickens in there too, but that’s not junk food. Anyway, they were amazed that we would eat this way. 

So I started asking them, if I got out of the way and they wanted junk food, what would they buy? Chips? Soda? Candy? Ice cream? Maybe I should have stopped there. 

Today I may have taken leave of my senses. This was a short, chaotic week of school. Today was a fun, busy, unpredictable, tiring day. On the way home this evening, at ten to five, I took them into the grocery store and gave them each five bucks and told them to buy whatever junk food they wanted. Here’s what they got…

Sonar X5: Chocolate Rice Quakes ($1), Lock Jaw 7-piece Sour-Sweet Candy Pack ($1), Beef jerky ($1), Tiny Mango Sorbet ($1), Tiny Cookie Dough Ice Cream ($1). 

Sonar X7: French Onion Dip ($0.79), Potato chips ($1), Warheads Sour Spray ($1), Pint of Rocky Road Ice Cream ($1.72).

Sonar X10: Can of salt and vinegar Pringles ($1.50), Lock Jaw 7-piece Sour-Sweet Candy Pack ($1), Blue Raspberry Pop Rocks ($0.50), Pint of Butter Crunch Ice Cream ($1.72).

We don’t keep any of these foods in the house. Once every couple of months or so I’ll buy some chips and dip. Likewise with the ice cream. The rest, no way.

After dinner I let them rip into their new stashes. They were surprisingly thoughtful and generous, sharing tastes of their stuff with each other, talking together about this little party. Some they tasted, some they decided to save for holiday traveling. They tortured me with Pop Rocks. While they were doing this, I tried to take a new profile picture in my Mom shirt. It was a tricky shot. Mainly because monkeys kept popping into it. 

Contrived profile shot interrupted by Sonar X10

Contrived profile shot interrupted by Sonar X7

Contrived profile shot interrupted by Sonar X5

Hey look, the uninterrupted contrived profile shot

After they got all sugared up, and really, truly, and thoroughly tired, one meltdown ensued. Maybe they can wait to buy their own junk food in college.