Sex Ed: On Your Mark, Get Set, Grow ! and What's Going On Down There

Part of my ongoing quest to choose great resources for helping the Sonars understand their bodies, their sexuality, and sex.

On Your Mark, Get Set, Grow! A What’s Happening to my Body Book for Younger Boys by Lynda Madaras, Newmarket Press 2008 (library copy)

Targeted to boys under about ten or twelve, this book seems best suited to kids who have not yet started puberty or are just exhibiting their first signs and anxieties. Madaras, who is the author of a number of sexuality education books for young people, focuses here on the physiological changes that begin with puberty, as well as the anxieties that boys might feel about those changes. Written in very simple language and decorated with cartoon drawings, the book is an accessible entry into learning about puberty. Acne, hygiene, erections, body image, media imagine, making healthy choices, peer pressure, abuse, and other topics are addressed. Madaras connects slangy terms to more formal terms, as well as connecting what kids might have heard or to concrete facts. Her tone is reassuring, reiterating that most things that boys feel and think as their bodies change are perfectly normal, and that “normal” holds a very large variety of experience. In this book, Madaras does not discuss sexual desire, the mechanics of sex, or sexual relationships. She does emphasize the importance of relationships with friends and parents, and encourages kids to seek out trusted adults during and beyond puberty.

What’s Going on Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask by Karen Gravelle with Nick and Chava Castro, Walker and Company 1998 (library copy)

The early chapters of this book are very similar to Lynda Madaras’s On Your Mark, Get Set, Grow! They are primarily about the physiological changes and anxieties associated with the onset of puberty. The tone of the book is slightly more mature, but the cartoon drawings persist, making this a good book for kids that are really in the throes of puberty, but perhaps not yet fully adolescents. Gravelle discusses masturbation and dispels masturbation myths, acknowledging that some people do not think masturbation is morally acceptable, but that most people find it a normal and healthy sexual behavior. A chapter is devoted to explaining the physiological changes that girls experience in puberty, including details about menstruation, encouraging empathy and understanding across genders. Gravelle discusses the mechanics of heterosexual intercourse with specific discussion of emotional readiness and what it means to pressure others (and a definition of rape). Within that chapter she discusses homosexuality as a normal part of the human sexual landscape. The biology of conception, contraception, sexually transmitted diseases and their prevention are introduced, with an explanation of different methods and diseases, and where to acquire contraception and information. Gravelle draws on questions from boys in a section aimed at quelling anxieties, and concludes with a section of important considerations and encouragement from men who have survived adolescence. She encourages a sense of personal responsibility and is affirmative about the normalcy of a broad range of sexual behaviors without going into any detail about what those sexual behaviors are (beyond heterosexual intercourse). While I don’t think her book is enough to stand alone as a source of information for a broad-minded, sexually active adolescent, it does provide a starting point for boys to see what decisions and experiences might be in store for them as they grow. Gravelle acknowledges that thinking about the responsibilities of sexual behavior might make anyone want to avoid it altogether, but she reassures readers that making conscious, healthy choices makes it easier to enjoy the experiences that life has in store.