Sex Ed: It's Perfectly Normal by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley

This review is part of my ongoing quest to choose great resources for helping the Sonars understand their bodies, their sexuality, and sex.

It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley. Candlewick Press (Third Paperback Edition), 2009.

This is the third book in Harris and Emberley’s Family Library series of books to help young people understand sex and sexuality. I reviewed the second, It’s So Amazing, right here.

The focus in this third book is summed up in the final chapter, “Staying Healthy: Responsible Choices,” and the book is trying to give kids honest, accurate, complete information so that they can make decisions for themselves. The book begins by providing explanations of the the biology of both sexes, addresses personal hygiene and personal care norms, then builds toward an understanding of what happens when desire and sexuality begin to influence lives. Homosexuality, masturbation, contraception, abstinence, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases, and an expanded section on internet safety, are all discussed in some detail.

Harris and Emberley continue to respect young people by presenting information directly and without judgement, illustrated by Emberley’s characteristic drawing style with frank drawings of internal and external anatomy. My favorite part of all the Family Library books are the wide variety of naked bodies represented, so that most readers can find someone like themselves in the pages of the books. We see bodies young and old, and in varying hues and abilities, curious and shy, in an array of inclusive family constructions. The book does not hedge illustrations behind suggestion and innuendo.

The larger chunks of text, and the more explicit descriptions of matters from intercourse to abortion, make this book best suited for slightly older children. The suggested age range is 10 to 14, and I think that’s spot on. This book is less addressed toward young people who are actively engaged in sex, than toward young people who are beginning to have an understanding of sex and will soon face choices for themselves. This book is preparation before and during the early phases of sexual understanding and exploration. It is on target for Sonar X11, and some chapters, especially the biology and personal care chapters, would be fine for Sonar X8, though not all kids that young will want to read all of the explanatory text. That’s fine too, because the pictures teach as much as the words.

The story is guided by Bird (who is curious about sex) and Bee (who is shy and reluctant to talk about sex), who take a smaller role in this book than in the earlier installments in the series, but are still present to ease the awkwardness of some subjects. Complicated concepts are accompanied by full page, comic-book style explanations as reinforcement. The cartoonish aspects of the book do not feel condescending, and are diminished in the more serious and controversial sections.

The biological functions are heteronormative in focus, but do acknowledge variation without judgement. A key idea that is repeated throughout the book is that once the biology of puberty kicks in, once adult functioning of the sex organs begins, pregnancy is always a possible outcome of some sexual behaviors. The book does not so much focus on helping a young person who is struggling to define his or her self-identity, but to introduce and define the possibilities that people will encounter in the world.

The central message Harris and Emberley present is respect for self, respect for others, and responsibility in actions. They steer readers with questions or confusion toward trusted adults, a technique underlined by their own reliance and gratitude toward a long list of experts in many fields.

We need something one step beyond this book that begins to address social situations and personal identity more explicitly, but this book and the others in the series are great foundational books for a positive and healthy attitude toward sex that is based in complete, inclusive, and direct facts and attitudes without resorting to fear mongering and piling on anxiety.