There's a Vampire (?) in the Laundry Room, v. 2

Here's the second vignette prompted by "there's a vampire in the laundry room."  I don't like this one as well as yesterday's.  This one feels stilted.  And I like the big, dumb, cockroach-eating vampire more than the smoldering one.  Do you prefer one or the other or neither?

I did one pass of edits and cut out a section that included fingertips brushing bra lace, a nipple rolling between fingers, some gasping, and sharp teeth on an earlobe.  You'll just have to imagine those bits.

Etude: There's a Vampire in the Laundry Room, v. 2

I was dressed to clean the house.  A t-shirt, a pair of overalls, and canvas sneakers that had been washed too many times.  My hair was pulled back into a ponytail.  The dog and I returned from walking the kids to school.  I flipped on the stereo, turned the music up too loud, and refilled the dog’s water bowl.  I stepped into the laundry room to swap loads of wash.  I’d been up since six, and one load was already dry, waiting to be folded.  

I dropped a handful of wet clothes into the dryer, then screamed when I turned back to the washer.  Jason was standing right next to me, smiling.  I hadn’t heard him come in, didn’t know why he was here.

“What are you doing?” I gasped, grabbing at my chest to stifle the heart attack I was sure I was having and hoping I hadn’t wet my pants.  

He leaned in close to me.  “Standing inappropriately close to you and smoldering.”

My stomach was fluttering in my throat somewhere.  He looked at me like I was dinner.  “Smoldering, huh.  Very cute.”  My voice sounded much tougher than I felt.  My heart and breath were still racing.  I paused, trying to slow down my insides.  I’d only met him a twice, both times in Mort’s office.  The boss vouched for him, but I wasn’t sure if I could trust him yet.  Heck, I wasn’t even sure what he was.  His sneak- and smolder-routine wasn’t reassuring.

“What were you thinking?  I could have shot you.”  I was trying for angry.

“About cupcakes.”  A smile crept up at the corners of his mouth.  “Those devil’s food ones with the sweet creamy centers.”  Ok, maybe not dinner.  Maybe I was dessert.  “And you can’t shoot me because you’re unarmed.”

Panic was about to overtake me, and my attempts to calm myself were failing.  I stopped.  I had to maintain control of the situation.  I needed to be direct.

“Are you a vampire?”  I put my hand on my hip in my favorite pissed-off-mom gesture, hoping that I looked intimidating.  Hey, it worked on my kids most of the time. 

He threw back his head and laughed warmly.  Then, smiling, he ran one finger under the strap of my overalls.  “I think the slaying thing might be getting to you if you’re missing the sexual objectification here.”  He leaned in closer. 

I tried to step back but he had me up against the washer.  Both of his hands were now curled into my overall straps.  He kissed me.  I yelped, but he was insistent.  His mouth was soft and warm.  When his tongue touched mine, my heart stopped.  He pressed his body against me, moving one of his hands into my hair, which had fallen loose from the ponytail.  His body was warm and hard and he smelled good.  He unclicked one side of my overalls and was sliding his hand under my shirt.  His skin was hot.

“Not. Unarmed,” I said, pressing the point of the stake against his chest.

Comments

[Somnicide]

Damn you Eglentyne - if I wanted to use my imagination I wouldn't read... :-p

Looking forward to the continuing adventures