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This is Dani Smith

 

I am Dani Smith, sometimes known around the web as Eglentyne. I am a writer in Texas. I like my beer and my chocolate bitter and my pens pointy.

This blog is one of my hobbies. I also knit, sew, run, parent, cook, eat, read, and procrastinate. I have too many hobbies and don’t sleep enough. Around here I talk about whatever is on my mind, mostly reading and writing, but if you hang out long enough, some knitting is bound to show up.

Thank you for respecting my intellectual property and for promoting the free-flow of information and ideas. If you’re not respecting intellectual property, then you’re stealing. Don’t be a stealer. Steelers are ok sometimes (not all of them), but don’t be a thief.

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    Entries in National Bureau of Random Exclamations (44)

    Monday
    Apr282008

    Statistics

    With apologies to the Harper’s “Index”:

     

    • $748.72; our monthly health insurance premium.
    • $15; copayment anytime one of us wishes to see a physician in a clinical setting for any reason.
    • $100; copayment anytime one of us wishes to see a physician in an emergent setting for any reason.
    • $95; cost for the ineffectual flu shots we got back in October.
    • 6; number of days this flu took to infect all five of us, as measured by first onset of symptoms.
    • 6; minimum number of pounds I’ve lost since first onset of flu symptoms on Thursday.
    • 4; minimum number of pounds lost by Sonar X7 since first onset of flu symptoms last Monday (I stopped checking, this freaked me out too much).
    • $150; average monthly drug costs for our family, including allergy and asthma meds.
    • $217.96; cost of one week of additional drugs for treatment of the flu (still accumulating).
    • $60; cost of doctor visits during this epic flu battle (still accumulating).
    • $29.95; cost of the “Cough Your Way to Rock Hard Abs” DVD, hosted by Archie Fleming.
    • 2; rank of “Coughin’ to the Oldies” among most popular fitness DVDs for “mature Americans.”
    • 1; rank of Feeling Like Your Tongue’s Been Ripped out by the Root in underreported injuries among subscribers to Archie Fleming’s Cough Your Way to Fitness series.
    • $29.95; cost of a cool hat, snazzy stainless steel water bottle, and some sunscreen to take with you outside, where you breathe fresh, clean air and move your body in a way that doesn’t make you feel like you want to die.
    • 500 (est.); loads of laundry we did yesterday.
    • 1 (min.); large loads of laundry washed with the Load Size set to Small.

    Figures cited to the best of my frenzied recollection as of as of five minutes ago. All figures have been adjusted for hyperbolic effect, except for the weight loss and actual health costs, which are really that horrifying. No seriously. Go ahead and multiply 748.72 by 12. I’ll wait. Now know that we consider ourselves lucky to have such good (though pricey) health insurance. My sister has to work nine months before she earns that much money, and she does that without receiving any health benefits whatsoever. Yeah, I know it’s wrong too. And yeah, I think “mature American” might be an oxymoron. Go drink some orange juice.

     

    Tuesday
    Apr222008

    A snort of approval

    No. Not that kind of snort.

    Thanks so much to everyone for the snot sympathy, and for suggestions about combating the snot.

    In spite of the myriad modern concoctions available to root out, thin out, and disinfect upper respiratory mucus, I’ve had the best results with nasal saline lavage. That is to say, squirting saltwater up my nose at regular intervals. Nothing fancy. Half a teaspoon of salt in eight ounces of cleanish water. Squirt.

    I’ll admit that as a card-carrying mammal, complete with air-breathing lungs, I was not crazy about the idea of introducing liquid into my upper respiratory passages. But I have to say, that weird as it is, I also find it sort of exhilarating.

    Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. I have never dated a doctor. Heck I don’t even know that many doctors. So my entirely unscientific, anecdotal experiences with snorting saline should not be taken as advice in the treatment of your snot. Please contact a reasonably qualified medical-type person for advice about your own snot.

    That said, if you choose to try such an application of brackish water to your mucus membranes, be sure not to blow it out too hard and back it all up into your ears. Blow gently, both nostrils open. No fun to have the saline in the ears. Seriously.

    Speaking of sticking things up your nose…

    No. Still not that sort of sticking up your nose.

    Sonar X7 had gigantic cotton swaps stuck up his nose today to confirm that yes, indeed, he is our next contestant in name that germ. This week’s featured virus: Influenza. Yes, folks, joining us in our parade of germs is this year’s infamous flu virus. Along with its cousin, it has been baffling flu vaccines everywhere. Flu brings along with it a new player to our pharmaceutical party, Tamiflu.

    This is our family’s first experience with the celebrity drug, and, as with so many other drugs, the Integrated MedFacts Module (aka the handy flier the pharmacist gives us with our drugs), this one almost makes the drug sound scarier than the virus.

    *Common* side effects include nausea and vomiting. Well, hot-dog! He’s already had nausea and vomiting, and while it seems to have passed, let’s go ahead and dose him and see if it’ll come back around.

    Even better though, “Patients with flu who take this medicine may have an increased risk of confusion and unusual behavioral changes. The risk may be greater in children.” Yippee! I’m so seriously looking forward to that one, because, my kids are already maniacs when they’re sick.

    Where’s that saline?

    Tuesday
    Feb122008

    Earn My Vote

    In the quest for Texas delegates, Hillary Clinton will be stumping in our area tomorrow afternoon. I’m wondering whether I should take my preschoolers and go hear her.

    ***
    Dear Senator Clinton,

    I am an undecided voter with small children. Health insurance access, Employment equity, and family- and child-friendly policies are all very important to me. Could you summarize your stand on these important issues using puppets? Much appreciated.

    Love, Eglentyne
    ***

    Seriously, it would be hard not to vote for a candidate willing to explain things to children without fear of embarassing herself.

    CM warns that the puppet speech should be a good one, lest mama be accused of selling out to a puppet government.

    Monday
    Feb042008

    Damage, or Running Hurts but it isn't Hurting Me

    Discomfort is sometimes necessary. Discomfort is not the same as Damage. I’d like to think that we should endeavor to avoid Damage whenever possible. To avoid damaging ourselves or other through our Action or Inaction.

    Running hurts. Running causes me pain, mainly in my ankles and knees.

    Last Friday I got new shoes (half-off again!) and went for a run. I know I said before that I’d go back to the lower run/walk interval, but moderation be damned, I picked right up at my 3/3 interval. I tried to run relaxed, and the shoes really made a huge difference, but I was stiff, and ran as I imagine the Tin Man must run on a humid day.

    But.

    I woke up Saturday with minimal soreness. Stretched my butt off. Or out. I ran again yesterday, and felt a bit more like the gazelle I aspire to be. And today: no soreness. :)

    The only issue in the Sunday run was heat. Yesterday was among the warmest, and was certainly the most humid day of running for me yet. Halfway through the run my ears felt like hot, pressure-filled steam pipes waiting to burst. I’m glad I started running during cool weather for us, because honestly, if it had felt like that during my first week, I’d have quit already. As the temperatures take their usual sharp upturn in the next month, I will have to consider running much later in the day. Dusk probably, rather than right before dinnertime. Or maybe early in the morning. (Ha. Who am I kidding? I can’t get up that early. hahaha)

    All this is to say that I don’t think I’m damaging myself with running. I had my doubts for a little while, especially in my left ankle. But now, I really think my problem is Inexperience and Discomfort. And frankly, I’m really Proud of the running, I know it’s good for my body, and those positive perks far outweigh the discomfort.

    Next Time: Skate mopping, Grocery shopping, and Sources of Energy

    Thursday
    Jan242008

    Discomfort

    I have a wee note here in my notebooky list of bloggy ideas: “discomfort.”

    I wracked my brain trying to remember what this might indicate. I thought of advertisements for remedies for various discomforts and decided it wasn’t anything quite so gross or banal. Then I—sort of—remembered. It was an overheard complaint someone was making about not wanting to do something because it caused her discomfort. Or something like that. Ok, I didn’t exactly remember the referent, but I did remember my reaction.

    Give me a break.

    How many things cause us discomfort in the world. I mean, just right now, my feet are a bit cold, which isn’t totally comfortable, but you know, I can deal with that. The person’s comment, though caused me to ponder, in general, about how people seem to want to avoid any kind of discomfort or inconvenience whatsoever. Buying any little thing, taking any little detour to try to avoid the inevitable little discomforts of life.

    I don’t, for instance, need any kind of foot warmer to avoid my little cold foot problem right now. Neither any special piece of apparel. Thank you, I already have a perfectly good pair of socks.

    Granted, if something causes me enough discomfort, I generally try to do something to change it or to fix it. I’m currently wondering whether a pair of shoes over my lovely socks would be a good choice.

    But it seems to me that the original referent was about avoiding an activity or a situation because of some rather minor discomfort. And to that I say again, Give Me a Break. I can count any number of experiences that caused me “discomfort,” things I knew ahead of time wouldn’t always be pleasant, but I did them anyway. Childbirth is an easy one. But perhaps a more colorful and exotic experience would serve here.

    Hot air ballooning in New Mexico, let’s say in October, during the International Balloon Fiesta,.

    Seriously. You have to get up really early in the morning. Predawn is best, so that take-off can occur just on the other side of sunrise. It’s dark. It’s cold. It’s damp. The high-desert air prickles the insides of your nose. You’re wearing eight layers of clothes because you know that over the course of the morning, it will warm up gradually, but dramatically, so that by lunchtime you’ll wish you were wearing shorts. The coffee or hot chocolate is altogether scalding in the flimsy cup that inevitably slops sticky and/or hot liquid onto your gloved hand and sleeve, which will later be caked with sandy mud.

    The work of getting the balloon set up is hard. Lifting, pulling, lugging, yanking. The inflation fan is dead loud. Oh, and cold, if you have to help hold open the throat of the balloon for cold inflation. The propane burners: also dead loud. And hot. Really hot. Especially if you’re holding open the throat of the balloon for the initial hot inflation.

    From here, there are two beautiful paths. One has you in the gondola, and one has you hanging onto the outside of the gondola with a dozen other people to keep the jumpy balloon from taking off.

    In the gondola, it’s crowded. You’re squished very close to at least two other bodies in a small gondola. There is probably a propane tank or some other apparatus jabbed into your butt or your shoulder. The top half of you feels sunburned with each blast of heat from the burner, while the rest of you is cold. Especially your feet.

    On the outside edge of the gondola, it’s crowded. All of those other bodies piled on to hold down a balloon that wants to pop up above the cooler air are squished and jabbing into each other trying to maintain a handhold. Someone’s face might be in your armpit. Someone’s elbow is almost certainly in your ribs.

    Why would you endure these things?

    Because when the pilot gives the go-ahead, and everyone let’s go… It’s like magic. In the gondola, the world floats away from you on a puff of air. You are flying like a bird, and in the long quiet moments between burns, the world of sounds is cushioned, peaceful. The tranquility is momentarily infinite. On the ground, this monstrosity of wicker and metal and fabric and fire that weighs hundreds of pounds, just gently lifts from the ground, lighter than a feather. And floats away like a bubble.

    No matter your perspective, it’ll take your breath away. And without enduring the myriad discomforts, you’d miss it.

    But the endurance of discomfort need not be so grand.

    Sitting here at the computer, next to my window, enduring my slightly chilled feet, I just saw a little bird, a tiny brown fluffy thing that would fit into the palm of my hand. It’s shuffling around in the garden, rummaging for bugs, the remains of last year’s basil seeds perhaps. And then it just fluffed itself up into the sky. It’s likely much colder than I am.

    Isn’t everything worth doing like that, though? Anything really worth doing is going to have moments, or eons of things that are not only uncomfortable but unpleasant or even undesirable, but once surmounted they lead on through to the goal. No thing that you love is without parts that you hate. But that doesn’t mean you quit.

    I love to knit. I hate weaving in all the little tails at the end, or sewing bits together. But I do it. I love my children, but there are many aspects of child rearing that I’d love to take a pass on (shoe tantrums, just for instance). But they are all one. Without the discomfort, the experience is incomplete. The triumph less full.

    Don’t quit when it gets hard. Don’t pass because it will be uncomfortable. Let’s figure out a way to find beauty, and value, and appreciation in those parts that we find uncomfortable.

    Next Post: My presidential platform. ;)